


Trick or Treat

by Nenchen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bad Puns, Blood, Blood and Injury, Can be read as platonic/friendship, Chapter 1, Chapter 3, Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Halloween, Harm to Children, M/M, Mild Horror, Mutilation, Other, Platonic Relationships, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), but wholesome, by the antichrist, chapter 2, chapter 4, chapter 5, except chapter 1 where they are married, meet Mr. asshole, minor crimes, minor threat of harm to children, minor use of swearwords, the antichrist is way too trusting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:48:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenchen/pseuds/Nenchen
Summary: This fic consists of 5 independent chapters, all revolving around Halloween.Short summaries:Aziraphale goes trick or treating with the Antichrist, what could go wrong!On Halloween night, Aziraphale finds himself in a strange place....Madam Tracy realizes she will never get bored of the country life with these kinds of neighbours, and these kinds of discussions.Brian realizes that even if you like something, it's not always a thing you want. (DARK)An angel and a demon get into a group costume with their god-gang and Aziraphale is a badass.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 32





	1. Eggcelent work my minion

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Grounding

The door closed heavily behind the home coming trick-or-treat-dream-team as they had dubbed themselves just hours earlier. Before Crowley could get up from the couch to greet them, he already heard Aziraphales stern voice. 

"Go to your room and think about why the things you've done are NOT acceptable behavior for a child that doesn't want to be the antichrist. You are grounded until your parents are back young man."

"But Aziraphale-"

"No butts. Whatever gave you the impression, that it was fine to turn the houses of people into gigantic eggs??"

"But they gave out RAISINS Uncle Aziraphale!! Just raisins! not even in chocolate or anything! And egging houses with shit candy is tradition and don't you always say tradition is important and..."

"...Adam. You know this isn't funny. Upstairs."

Grumbling and hard steps on the floor were heard, then a slightly slammed door. Crowley wondered how long it would take for Adam to realize Aziraphale neither took his candy, nor forbid his friends from visiting.

As Aziraphale went into the living room, silently muttering to himself and shaking his head, Crowley's face lit up in a grin.

"You know Angel, you really should be glad I didn't want to go with you."

Aziraphales eyes fixated onto his face, scrunched up in a way that may only be described as "hoe don't do it" stare.

"After all I would have only..."

"Crowley, no."

"Egged him on!"

It shouldn't be possible to ground a 6000 years old demon, but Aziraphale sure as hell could.


	2. Much "Oh no" about nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Thrumming

It was the night of Halloween. That was all Aziraphale could recall. It was the night of Halloween and he had no idea where he was. 

The last thing he could recall was a pleasant evening of handing out candy to children, the both of them in a couple’s costume as angel and devil, roles switched. His husband trying his best to look annoyed, but endearingly flustered by him wearing a lot less layers than usual.

When the groups of children had become sparse, they’d retired to the sofa, Crowley for TV and he himself for a book. His last conscious memory was putting down his book in favor of petting Crowley’s hair after he’d fallen asleep against his shoulder.

Then…. Nothing.

Nothingness to be precise. 

He was surrounded by it. 

Nothing to see. 

Nothing to hear. 

Nothing to smell. 

Nothing to feel. 

In all his years of existence, he had never been in a… place? Like this. 

The realization of what this could mean settled in. 

They had gotten to him.

And worse, if they had gotten him, they would probably have Crowley too. 

Now would be the time a normal being would start panicking and Aziraphale was tempted. 

However, panicking would not do much for getting him out of „here“. 

He needed to find some sort of clue as to where he was. 

When he concentrated, trying to sense anything he heard it. Felt it. 

A low, almost silent thrumming in the „air“. 

Weirdly enough, it somehow seemed familiar. He followed it, blending out the… nothingness until only the sound existed. He could sense it stronger and stronger until… 

He opened his eyes. Disoriented and confused he looked around. 

Their Sofa. Their House. And his demon on his shoulder, slightly snoring. 

Aziraphale realized he had finally learned how to sleep. But he really should ask Crowley to teach him how to dream next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments keep me motivated to write! Generic keysmash, emoji or just commenting "Kudos" because you want to leave more than one are just as appreaciated as in depth praise!  
Also, come yell at me on my GO tumblr [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens)!


	3. Female dogs for feminism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Bitch

Ever since she’d moved down to the south downs with Mr. S, her life had become a lot calmer in most ways.

Nowadays she got a lot less customers, even though some „customers“ were very loyal to her services, the flatterers. She even had some newcomer too.

But it wasn’t rare for her to have an afternoon to herself anymore, like today. The autumn air smelled fresh and her freshly baked batch of cookies even better. She was just about to put on the kettle as the doorbell rang.

In these newer days the doorbell ringing outside of her appointments mostly meant one of her new friends visiting. And, sure enough, opening the door revealed a determinedly grinning Pepper. And Pepper, admirably straightforward girl that she was, got right to it. 

„Hello Madam Tracy! I need advice on how to look like a bitch!“

Oh dear. 

„Oh dear sweetheart. Why don’t you go sit down and I get us some tea and freshly baked cookies first?“

Easily pacified, as to be expected from the girl believing in peace, Pepper went and sat down, giving Madame Tracy some time to think up a plan. When she joined her, she was ready. 

„So, Pepper, the word bitch can mean a lot of things, so why don’t you tell me why you are asking?“

Pepper, mouth already full of cookie answered. 

„Because I want to dress up as a bitch for my Halloween costume! Mom says men say bitch to women they don’t like because they are too self-determined or powerful, so I want to scare them! And you are powerful and self-determined and you dress up, so I came to ask you.“  
Oh, that was a rather sweet and a lot less concerning reason than she’d expected. But there still were some points needing to be cleared up. 

„Well dear, while that is an amazing and very good idea in theory, I fear that the word bitch is too abstractly used by people to really embody it in a costume. You see, as a degrading word it usually refers to women that are freely expressing their sexuality but will also get used just as a very common insult and is as such not really bound to any outward traits. If you really want to stay with the idea, you could of course wear a shirt with that word, but do ask your mother first for that, or costume yourself as a female dog, which is also referred to as bitch. However, I do have to warn you that you will probably have to explain the reason for your costume a lot. If you want, I could also help you think of other costume ideas?“

Pepper thoughtfully chewed her 10th cookie, then swallowed it down with some tea and nodded. 

„Yeah, mom says I can always save more abstract ideas for more progressive times. I think I’d like another costume instead.“

* * *

A few hours later the tea (and the whole jar of fresh cookies) were empty and Pepper left with her new costume idea (Zombie Marie Curie) and some items to get her costume started.

Madam Tracy smiled and thought her life was surely quieter now, but certainly not boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments keep me motivated to write! Generic keysmash, emoji or just commenting "Kudos" because you want to leave more than one are just as appreaciated as in depth praise!  
Also, come yell at me on my GO tumblr [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens)!


	4. Bloodred, bloodshed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sanguine
> 
> STOP!
> 
> This chapter is the reason this fic isn't rated gen.  
There will be blood and people are harmed. Some disturbing imagery is used.
> 
> If you are triggered by any of this, please don't continue.  
The rest of you, have fun!

People had always told Brian he had a sanguine disposition. 

Truly, Brian rarely thought of anything but the good outcomes of ideas or situations. He simply didn’t see a reason to.

Very different from Wensley. Wensley always thought about every possible outcome he could think of. Wensley was also the one to explain to him the other meaning of that word, sanguine.

_„Bloodred, bloodshed, bloodthirsty. Funny that a word could have two meaning as differing as that, right?“_

Brian had agreed, not thinking much about it. 

At least not until he had his blood drawn for the first time. And then when they’d found a hurt bird in their fort. And then when he had cut himself while helping his mom cut vegetables for dinner.

Then he’d found that, while the word sanguine might Not describe Wensley further than his rosy cheeks, the word sanguine described him in more than one ways.

Blood was always fascinating to him in a way he couldn’t describe.  
And today, on halloween, he’d gone all out. Fake blood all over him, he had shown up to trick-or-treating and it had earned him a fair share of candy from everyone. 

From everyone except from old R. P. Taylor of course. He’d nagged up a storm upon seeing the Them, rating about terrorizing perfectly innocent people in their own houses and then having the gall to be asking for candy. And then he’d slammed his door in their faces.

This of course warranted a prank, as all of the Them, even Wensley, had agreed.

What Wensley hadn‘t agreed to however, had been the fireworks.

Maybe not being sanguine did have some positive aspects too, Brian thought absentmindedly as he sat and watched the blood pouring out. 

The blood was still beautiful.

Almost calming, Brian thought as it kept staining his lap, where he desperately tried to stop it.

He could barely hear Pepper scream for help over the blood rushing in his ears.

He looked down, following the bloody, mangled thing that had once been a hand.

Up to his best friends‘ face that was becoming more and more pale at an alarming rate.

Now Wensley wasn’t sanguine in any definition of the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T WORRY!! Everything will be fine when they all stop panicking and everyone (including Adam) remembers Adam is the antichrist, and can p much do whatever he wants.  
(Also i know noone cares but my HC age for this is 16 for them.)
> 
> As always, comments keep me motivated to write! Generic keysmash, emoji or just commenting "Kudos" because you want to leave more than one are just as appreaciated as in depth praise!  
Also, come yell at me on my GO tumblr [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens)!


	5. A tricky treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER!  
The prompt for this wasn't a one word prompt, but a discussion between Rory ([X](https://whispy-witch.tumblr.com/)!, ([X](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhispyWitch)!) and May ([X](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyMayBee/pseuds/HoneyMayBee)!) from the Ace omens discord about Aziraphale being absolutely badass (You'll know which part I took).  
Enjoy!
> 
> (minor warning for attempted harm to children)

It was the first Halloween after the world didn’t end and also the first after Aziraphale and Crowley had acquired a new godson. A godson that was very much not the son of god but technically the son of Satan and at heart the son of humanity. Complicated stuff. Not to forget the god-gang that came with said godson. 

To be honest, Crowley sometimes still couldn’t believe how it had all gone down so perfectly for them. 

World still there, heaven and hell off their backs. Unimaginable. 

What he also couldn’t wrap his head around was how the kid(s) had gotten him to agree to this.

* * *

_„Since you’re my godfathers now, and you both life in London, you should let us stay over for Halloween and go trick-or-treating with us. Tadfield doesn’t have enough people to get a bucket full of sweets.“, Adam had stated decisively and that had been that.  
As you, the well-read reader, are probably already theorizing, Crowley just couldn’t say no to a child wanting to have some fun. He also did like Halloween since the temptations always worked by themselves, giving him a free evening. And also, Aziraphale had originally proposed a horror film movie marathon and deep down inside he knew he would have screamed like a little girl and clung to the Angel. All very good reasons to agree with Adam, but none of them reasons Crowley would admit to himself. _

And that’s how Crowley had ended up in a „pokémon trainer“ costume with four children dressed like „pokémon“, whatever those were and an angel that he was still somehow attracted to dressed as a „pokéball“, going from door to door. 

And he couldn’t even laugh this off as demonic activity because people were delighted to see them. And the Them were delighted to received true bucketloads of candy. 

He’d have to set some ground rules for the consumption of said candy later, or he would end up with four children hyper on sugar in his apartment, he noted absentmindedly.

He was so deep in his own thoughts that he almost wouldn’t have noticed the aura coming from the next house. His stomach churned, half-pleasantly, half in alarm. There was some deep-rooted hatred coming off that building. 

But it was too late to warn anyone, because the children had already rung the doorbell and a man opened, smiling way too broadly. 

„My my, what adooooorable costumes you children have! You deserve a special treat. Here, have some of my homemade cookies!“

It was like several annoying phone alarms going off in his head at once. Something was very wrong with this man and he didn’t know what to do. 

„Angel!“, he hissed and shot him an alarmed glance. Well, raised his eyebrows as high as he could. Good thing Aziraphale was practiced in interpreting eyebrow-glances even from behind sunglasses.

The children had already taken a cookie each (and said thank you like the good children they were) when Aziraphale stepped forward with a sweet, very much nonthreatening smile and grabbed one.

„May I? These do look scrumptious, it’s really commendable of you to offer the children something homemade!“

The man’s eyes widened as Aziraphale brought the cookie to his mouth. As he bit down, the other’s mouth opened as if he wanted to say something. 

But no sound made it out. 

Aziraphales mouth however, did make a sound. 

A loud crunch. 

A sound no normal cookie should make.

Aziraphale just smiled sweetly and kept on chewing as the look on the man’s face changed into one of horror. He finished the cookie with a pleased sigh, but Crowley could see the cold fire in his eyes. The man could too probably, judging from the way he was completely frozen in fear. 

„These are really good! However, I do fear that some of the children might have problems with the glass shards in them. I suggest you make a new batch and throw these away, just to be safe.“ Aziraphale said, smiling and showing off his very much undamaged mouth. 

„What… what?“, the man whispered. 

„Or we shall have to come back and do trust me, my friend knows some things that will make your little trick look like a treat. “, Aziraphale answered, face dropping into an icy expression to match his eyes. 

The man answered as Crowley would have suspected, screaming and slamming the door in their faces, dropping his plate of cookies.

„Close your mouths, all of you.“, Aziraphale said to his awed group. 

Immediately the children crowded him.

„AWESOME!“

„Can you eat everything?!“

„I bet you’re the only angel this badass.“

And other things were shouted excitedly. 

Aziraphale, while smiling his gentle smile and answering the children, shot Crowley a look, one slightly raised eyebrow. 

Crowley nodded and snapped his fingers, safely removing all contaminated cookies from the bags of unassuming trick or treaters. 

With a slight nod to the side from Crowley, Aziraphale cleared his throat to get the children’s attention. 

„Right-o. How about we get a wiggle on? I do believe you planned to fill those buckets to the brim. But you all will need to be mindful when eating them and not take anything before checking in with Crowley or me. Understood?“

„UNDERSTOOD!“

And that was that. 

Crowley sighed, shaking his head while trying not to smile fondly. 

Honestly. Only Aziraphale could install true fear in someone while looking like a pokéball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments keep me motivated to write! Generic keysmash, emoji or just commenting "Kudos" because you want to leave more than one are just as appreaciated as in depth praise!  
Also, come yell at me on my GO tumblr [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens)!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments keep me motivated to write! Generic keysmash, emoji or just commenting "Kudos" because you want to leave more than one are just as appreaciated as in depth praise!  
Also, come yell at me on my GO tumblr [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens)!


End file.
